Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Produce Beagle

My husband, Chris if you missed it, is from New Zealand. It is tiny island nation that is sort of like Australia's fat cousin. Everyone can remember Australia and facts about it but no one remembers New Zealand for anything except being close to Australia (and Lord of the Rings).
Since I have been to New Zealand, I think this is sad because it is really one of the most spectacular places I have ever seen.

Today my friend got a call from animal control. Her neighbor complained that her beagle was out of his pen. I am glad someone brought this to her attention. I mean have you seen Snoopy? The dog has a war plane in his dog house. And my friend's beagle? Named Maverick. She is just lucky he hasn't shot anyone.

Anyway, all this talk of beagles made me think of The Produce Beagle. When you come through US Customs or Mexico Customs or most places where they "check you". There is a German Shepard or Doberman who sniffs your luggage and checks for drugs of the illegal kind. New Zealand on the other hand is not concerned with drugs (Hello! The home of bungee jumping and zorbing, stoned people fuel their economy) but with produce. The number one industry in New Zealand is agriculture and the worst thing that could happen to them is for you to bring a rotten apple with some exotic disease into their country. So just like in the states a dog comes and sniffs your luggage but it's a beagle.
I watched him bust a girl with a banana in her purse. He just walked over and stood beside her bag. The agent came up and asked her if she had any produce. She opened her purse and gave the agent a half eaten banana in a ziploc. The agent then took it to the fruit bin. Once she threw it away, the dog who had been so calm got all excited to get his treat for doing a good job. It was too cute. I have found my next career. I want to be the lady who handles the produce Beagle.

Reprised from my travel blog Jen and Chris go to New Zealand which includes the best picture of my husband drunk in a paisley shirt evah!

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to

So it was just my birthday. I'm 29 (because I know that you wanted to know). My birthday this year was totally lackluster.

1) It was a Tuesday
2) I was depressed (not about my birthday)

Anyway, it got me thinking about my best and worst birthdays.

Worst - 19. Nothing happened. I think my roommate got me a cake at the store but that was it. No going out, no fun time, maybe a present from my mom.

Best - 23. So Hurricane hmm, remember to google this Isabel was going to hit the Virginia Coast and since my best friends parents lived on Long Island (Isabel target #2) she evacuated herself to Knoxville. She always said it would take a Hurricane to get to Knoxville and it did.

Now I don't know how or why we decided I needed to have a monkey themed 23rd birthday party (drink much?) but we did. We printed out lots of pictures of monkeys and posted them up in my apartment. We also bought drink mixers and replaced all the recommended liquors with 99 bananas. That's right 99 bananas IN EVERYTHING! You could have a cosmo-monkey or a slut monkey or a monkeys naval.

I recall a few things about that night. I was quitting smoking because I said I wouldn't smoke past graduation, I recall this caused me to act out. I do know I wore my door wreath on my head at some point. I also bit a guy on the ankle.

See I was getting my MBA and my laptop was out and my friend (a classmate) was on it chatting with another classmate and pretending to be me. I tried to stop him and he put his hand on my head and smooshed me to the floor (yeah, you try to fight someone after you've had 97 of the 99 bananas) and so since I was down there I made a strategic move and bit his ankle. This is the only incident in my adult life that I have bit someone, I am much more of a slapper. Anyway, once you bite someone's ankle there is really no competing with that.

What is your best/worst birthday story?

Friday, September 11, 2009

An important update

1 - go vote for me in the Aunt Becky Goes Places and Does Stuff Contest, it's #10

2 - my at work WW may not make. This means I will have to go with the masses to the WW main office. I will still go but reserve the right to complain about it. For reals people - the WW it works. It is worth the money - would you pay money for someone to wave a wand and make you thin? Yeah, so then you should pay for this (of course it's not magic fast but nothing is and the point is in 5 years when you haven't lost any weight you will be all like Dammit! I should have listened to Jen)

3 - The flu. I do not have it. If you think you have it then stay home. Do not touch me. Do not touch people who will touch me or things I will touch. I am not a baby about being sick (unlike every man ever) but I am dancing here in 2 weeks and going on vacation here the week after that and if you ruin that for me I will haunt your sweaty flu dreams.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

THE Weight Watchers

I do Weight Watchers (jeez, that feels like a confession). It's true. Without disclosing my actual weight lets just say in 2003 and again in 2008 I topped out at exactly 100 lbs more than I weighed when I graduated high school. For reals.
Anyway, in the interim of athletic to tub I tried LA Weight Loss - I don't remember this working at all, South Beach Diet - lost 40 gained 60, Slim Fast - lost 28 gained 48, and something I can't remember the name of but I could have any salt - lost 10 in week and binge drank it all back on in 1 hour. Weight Watchers is the first one of these plans where the weight hasn't magically melted off. It is also the first plan that hasn't made me say, "Man, as soon as this diet is over I am going to eat _____."
So on the one hand WW is frustratingly slow (read healthy) and on the other hand I feel like I could do this forever and not continually to yo-yo my way up to 300 lbs.
I thought I would lay out the back story so I could share a bit about how WW is going on the blog.
I am worried about moving and being weeks and even months without a meeting. Hopefully, I can make is seamless and only miss a few. I use etools which is the online tracking so I can still track even if I am without meetings.