Friday, April 20, 2012

Gluten Free - not so bad actually

So, I want to be upfront and say that I think my Dr. puts everyone on a gluten free, casein free diet. Unless you go in there and say, "I feel awesome, in fact, I have no idea why I am even at the doctor's to begin with." Otherwise, no gluten or casein for you. She does test for all common food sensitivities/allergies but if no other culprits show up then no gluten or casein for you. The thing is that after you get these orders, you feel good. Some people feel fantastic. (I just feel good but if you read my blog you know I have a lot of stress due to my kitty's renal failure and intensive care).
The trick is not to toss out your Oreos and just go to Whole Foods and buy gluten-free Oreos. You have to eat more unprocessed foods. Thats what makes you feel better. It's easier than I thought because most of the gluten free fake food is not very good (sorry fake oreos) and its expensive. No one really wants to pay $5 for a small box of not very tasty crackers. So, you turn to the stuff that is yummy. Fruits, vegetables, the gluten free grains like quinoa and rice. I am loving it. I know, weird.
I have been on crazy fad diets before. I did South Beach, Adkins, Sensa, some weird no salt thing. First of all, these were all horrible ideas because I was only trying to loose weights and diets don't work. (I have been over diets and trying to loose weight for a while now so this is not that kind of diet or related to loosing weight.) In all these cases, I would have cut a bitch for a slice of bread/pasta/cake/salt/etc. but since I went gluten and casein free I have not craved anything. Not even once.
Today no one is in the front office but me. If I have to work through lunch, I usually dictate that this means the company buys me lunch and that lunch is chicken strips and blizzard from the DQ next door. You know what I had today? A salad. With Tuna. That is all. Do I wish I could have chicken strips and a blizzard (previously in my top five favorites)? No, not even a little. I am the first person to tell you that I am shocked, SHOCKED, about this. I can't eat any of my previously favorite foods (except wine and dark chocolate, thank the gods) and it doesn't bother me one bit. I have trouble actually accepting this reality. I do see it as a sign that this diet (diet as in what you eat is your diet. Mine is gluten free, casein free and omnivorous) is what my body wants. I think about DQ and something inside me says, "Yeah, thanks for not eating that because that was why you felt like shit all the time." And this might be TMI, but I have had no gas. Seriously, and I eat roughage like kale every day.
Now why does being GFCF work any differently than not eating processed foods like a paleo diet. I am not sure it does. It might be psychological in that I can say, "that food will make me sick" as opposed to "I choose not to eat that." It also does not cut out a whole genre of food. I can have carbs, I can have sugar, I can have fat just not all the kinds of sugar, carbs and fat. I even eat things that some people consider "bad" for you like white rice and corn chips. But when you break down what I eat into the good ole food pyramid my servings of fat, sugar, carbs (and white rice) falls well below my servings of fruits and vegetables. And the thing I am trying to say is that I really want to eat more produce which to me feels like the biggest win of all.
Now, I am sure some people want to know if you will lose weight on a GFCF diet. If you ate a lot of junk and things that made you bloat before then probably. Chris says I look slimmer, but as I said before I don't care for weight loss diets so I don't weigh myself. Since my health issues were all inflammation related then I could just be less swollen. Who doesn't want to be less swollen? Some people with gluten intolerance will gain weight because they were experiencing poor absorption before. So if you think you should try this to lose weight then please don't, diets don't work. If you want to try it and see if you feel better then be my guest. But talk to your doctor first, and consider asking for food sensitivity tests. It would be a shame to give up gluten only to find out that soy is what is making you feel bad.
Oh, and now that I read a lot of restaurant allergens menus, soy is in freaking everything.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Bird on a Feeder

My husband is an engineer. If you aren't familiar, engineers are know for being...quirky. My engineer in particular doesn't like to disappoint so he often find "substitutions" that to him sound like the same thing but I know they are not the same thing at all.
The other day when he went out to get something at the hardware store, I asked for a large bag of wild bird seed. The hardware store was closed so he went to a big box store. Once there, he could not find wild bird seed so he bought me a giant bag of cockateil food.
Last night after reading the ingredients out loud, I filled my three bird feeders. In minutes, two very surprised doves were on the ground eating what I spilled.
I imagined their conversation went something like this. (also, please read it in a cockney accent)

I wondered when they were going to top up the seed. I have been watching this spot for a week..holy shit, are these banana chips!?!

What? There are no banana chips here. OMG, I think this is a split pea.

Do they still call them spilt peas when they are whole? I mean, is any pea which is split in half a split pea?

What? What kind of question is that? It is a special kind of pea which is split. I think it grows in halves.

In halves? If it grows in halves isn't it growing in whole, and its whole just looks like a half. How does something grow in halves, you ninny!

Well, I am just saying that is grows in a shape which is half of the shape of a pea that is not characterized as a "split pea"

I don't think I can be friends with you any more.

Fine then.


You know if you eat a bit of thistle and papaya at the same time its quite nice.

Oh yes, it is quite nice.


Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Are Raccoons Dangerous?

My husband is from the city. The big city. The largest city in his country, to be exact. This means he doesn't know about a variety of subjects that someone who grew up on a farm knows about.

We were living in my parents basement while we looked for a house. Chris had only been gone for 5 minutes and I was just falling back asleep when my cell phone rang. I am sure I said, "Jesus." Because that's generally what I say. I answered.
"Are raccoons dangerous?"
"What? Why?"
"There is one here in the garage."

This was actually, sort of, my fault. I had come in late from dance class and my parents had left the garage door up and light on so I could see. It is freaking dark where they leave.
I noticed that the dogs biscuits were turned over and really hoped that the dog had done it or they had been knocked over on accidents, but just in case the chupacabra was still around I ran in and put the door down. So, I in my infinite scaredycatness gave the raccoon a safe, warm place to sleep.

After we go the raccoon out, we surveyed the damage.
He pooped on my husband's car.
Took all the DVDs out of a box of DVDs that came out of my mom's car. He had already seen Finding Nemo.
He played with a toy tractor.
And tried to weed eat but broke the handle off trying to get it started.

Find the purple ball, now look right.