Bird on a Feeder

My husband is an engineer. If you aren't familiar, engineers are know for being...quirky. My engineer in particular doesn't like to disappoint so he often find "substitutions" that to him sound like the same thing but I know they are not the same thing at all.
The other day when he went out to get something at the hardware store, I asked for a large bag of wild bird seed. The hardware store was closed so he went to a big box store. Once there, he could not find wild bird seed so he bought me a giant bag of cockateil food.
Last night after reading the ingredients out loud, I filled my three bird feeders. In minutes, two very surprised doves were on the ground eating what I spilled.
I imagined their conversation went something like this. (also, please read it in a cockney accent)

I wondered when they were going to top up the seed. I have been watching this spot for a week..holy shit, are these banana chips!?!

What? There are no banana chips here. OMG, I think this is a split pea.

Do they still call them spilt peas when they are whole? I mean, is any pea which is split in half a split pea?

What? What kind of question is that? It is a special kind of pea which is split. I think it grows in halves.

In halves? If it grows in halves isn't it growing in whole, and its whole just looks like a half. How does something grow in halves, you ninny!

Well, I am just saying that is grows in a shape which is half of the shape of a pea that is not characterized as a "split pea"

I don't think I can be friends with you any more.

Fine then.

Fine.

You know if you eat a bit of thistle and papaya at the same time its quite nice.

Oh yes, it is quite nice.


AND SCENE

Are Raccoons Dangerous?

My husband is from the city. The big city. The largest city in his country, to be exact. This means he doesn't know about a variety of subjects that someone who grew up on a farm knows about.

We were living in my parents basement while we looked for a house. Chris had only been gone for 5 minutes and I was just falling back asleep when my cell phone rang. I am sure I said, "Jesus." Because that's generally what I say. I answered.
"What?"
"Are raccoons dangerous?"
"What? Why?"
"There is one here in the garage."

This was actually, sort of, my fault. I had come in late from dance class and my parents had left the garage door up and light on so I could see. It is freaking dark where they leave.
I noticed that the dogs biscuits were turned over and really hoped that the dog had done it or they had been knocked over on accidents, but just in case the chupacabra was still around I ran in and put the door down. So, I in my infinite scaredycatness gave the raccoon a safe, warm place to sleep.

After we go the raccoon out, we surveyed the damage.
He pooped on my husband's car.
Took all the DVDs out of a box of DVDs that came out of my mom's car. He had already seen Finding Nemo.
He played with a toy tractor.
And tried to weed eat but broke the handle off trying to get it started.

Find the purple ball, now look right.

I Dream of Twitter

So last Monday night was a rough night in terms of sleeping. It was our last night on our old mattress (Yay for the new Tempur-pedic). We build a new headboard that fell off the wall and onto our heads at 3:30 AM. I had to get up at 5:30, to be at a training class at 7:30 which was 45 minutes away. Basically, all the forces of getting a good nights sleep were against me. And boy did I have some crazy dreams. Specifically, I dreamed of Twitter. It was a party and all the cool kids were there.

I don't remember when I joined Twitter, and I am too lazy to look. I remember my friend Laura said that we should get on Twitter and I did. I don't think any of my other friends, including Laura, stuck with it. I actually liked being on Twitter and engaging people all over the world on topics from HR to bellydance. The next thing I knew, I was having conversations with some pretty cool people who lived in my town. Then I was at a pub crawl dressed in a Snuggie. Drinking in a Snuggie is awesome! If you have not tried it, I am both shocked and demanding that you add it to your bucket list.

This snow balled in to a series of social events with some really awesome new friends that I would have never met had it not been for Twitter. Just as I was getting into the groove of hanging out with my Tweeps, the unthinkable happened - we moved!

Now you are thinking that since Twitter is on the interwebs then moving would be fine because you would still Tweet. Yes, in theory. Except I felt left out. I made one Tweep in my hometown, where I moved to, and he even brought me a diet coke once during a particularly long appointment at his place of employment. Still things just weren't the same. So a I Tweeted less and less, and then not at all. (Except my automatic blog posts and 4sq).

So then, last Monday night, I had a dream. Chris and I were in a random house looking for a party that we had been invited to. It was almost like a party quest. What television has led me to believe one must go through to find a rave. Purchase a pickle at the gas station on the corner of 4th and Vine, pay only in nickels. That sort of thing. Anyway, this quest led us to the most expensive neighborhood in town. To a particular house, where would get the final invite. Once we arrived, sitting at the kitchen table and tweeting were several of my tweeps. For some reason, in my dream, it was important that they did not recognize me until I messaged them and got them to say that I was "in". I really have no idea why because that was the exact moment when the cushion fell out of my new DIY headboard and hit me on the head.

So I am back Twitter, I missed you.

Update: Squatty Potty

The Daily What featured this video today.  

Part One: Here

I had actually ordered the plastic Squatty Potty when the nice people over at SP HQ offered to send me one. I told them I had ordered the plastic as a starter model (and because the low price would help convince Chris that it wasn't a horrible idea) but hoped to love it and one day upgrade to the bamboo. They sent me the bamboo! I was surprised and happy. It does look a lot nicer and I actually think the slight angle makes it more comfortable than the plastic. I moved the plastic into our guest bath and put some of the brochures they sent me on the back of the toilet so guest would know what was going on. I am also going to take info to my chiropractor, massage therapist and doctor.

My mom was our first visitor to go into the guest bath and say, "what is this?" I showed her what it was and how it worked and she seemed to be genuinely interested in the benefits, which made me happy.

So what do I think of the Squatty Potty?  I like it. If you are really inflexible it can be hard to get your knees up. Chris let me put yoga bricks under the Squatty Potty and he slides them out and puts his feet on those until he can increase his flexibility. I actually think it makes sitting on the toilet more comfortable on your rear. I am glad that I got one and think Chris is warming up to it. I think the fact he is trying to be flexible enough to use it all the time, speaks volumes. He obviously sees the great benefit to squatting. 

The Birds

Rocky, our office cat, just brought a live bird into our office. It's probably the office managers fault. She told him to get them because they are pooping on our cars. Well, he listened.
I heard her yell, "Rocky, no!" I assumed he was running out the open front door not returning through it. He immediately came around the corner to my office. Once I realized there was something in his mouth, I expected a mouse before my brain could register bird. I yelled at him to put it down. It flew all around and he caught it again. We finally got him to drop it and it flew into the front office, hit a window and fell behind a desk. I grabbed killer and tossed him in an office, closing the door. We shooed the bird out and flew away looking remarkably uninjured.
Rocky sulked around the place trying to find what we did with his prize. He also got his first flea of the new year for his trouble.

Just call him killer.

Whenever something crazy happens like this no one is around to see it. Who says working in an office is boring?

The Squatty Potty

So I had been talking about 10 minutes about the benefits of squatting when Chris finally turns to me and says, "What the hell kind of blogs have you been reading?" Chris doesn't mind most of my hippy dippy wellness ideas but he draws the line at having his bathroom routine disturbed.
I am big fan of Katy's blog over at Aligned and Well. She is helping me lengthen my leg muscles (so is my massage therapist). Katy says that I (and most everybody else) need to do two things that most of us don't do enough of,  walk and squat. There is a lot more to it than that so go read her blog.
Well, I am intrigued by all this and have already got Chris and I on a routine of much more walking (it takes 15 minutes to do our neighborhood including cul-de-sacs) and I wanted to work on squatting. Now squatting is lacking from our routines because people used to "have a squat" all the time. Hint, hint. But now we sit, which is unnatural. So while I was practicing squatting in my living room, I was still sitting in the place that I should be squatting - my bathroom. Then, three times this week I was confronted with the concept of the Squatty Potty. It's a foot stool, that gets your feet up so that you are essentially getting into a squat position while you are on the toilet.
When I told Chris I wanted one, it prompted his comment about my blog choices. I did point out how it tucks under the bowl so he won't be forced to use it, and I think he felt better about things.
Here is the Alignment Monkey's review and giveaway of a Squatty Potty. I entered, but if I lose I will be ordering one anyway.

Lent and Giving

So, I don't do lent. But then I sort of do. It's complicated.

I don't actually do lent because well, I am not religious. But I find the concept of lent and the pre-determined time period beneficial for things I want to do so I use it to my advantage.

For the past 4 years, on Ash Wednesday I have emptied my bank account. I don't mean going on a bender at Pier 1; I mean that I transfer the complete balance to my saving account. Then throughout the period of lent, I don't spend anymore than I have too. Four years of this and I have it pretty much down.

• I still buy people birthday presents
• I uphold prior social commitments
• I don't turn down new ones but I rain in the spending on them (one drink at happy hour, no popcorn at the movies, etc) - I would turn down above average dates like a concert or something with expensive tickets
• I pay all my bills
• I buy all the same groceries that I would before even treats like ice cream
• I still participate in dance workshops - though no buying from vendors once I get there
• I still let my regular automatic deductions into savings and retirement take place

Lent is also a good time to do this because most people won't give you any grief when you say, "sorry I am not spending any money during lent." 

When Easter rolls around I look at what cushion has built up in my checking account and I donate it to charity. More specifically, I donate it to Donors Choose which helps teachers get supplies they needs for their classrooms. I have really enjoyed working with Donors Choose and in the past my donations have purchased books, molecule model kits, recycling containers and tennis rackets. A few weeks after the project is funded the class sends thank you letters which always makes me cry.

Now, my point in sharing this is not for you to think I am just awesome. I assume that you thought that already. I just really like doing this and think it is a good idea and want to pass is around.

Don't think you can save enough to make a difference? Most charitable organizations will tell you they are happy to get any donation no matter how small. At Donors Choose, you can sort projects by how much money they still need to complete their funding. As I write this, there is a library project that only needs $27 to be funded.